Love Your Work Career Consulting | How to successfully ‘divorce’ your manager -in 5 easy steps!
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How to successfully ‘divorce’ your manager -in 5 easy steps!

Many statistics show that 8/10 of us leave our jobs because of the manager – just like any other relationship you may wonder ‘how did it go so wrong … is it me!’ and so forth.  For many of us, resigning is one of the toughest elements of work life – principally because it is a ‘break up’ and often because by the time we take the ‘action of’ resigning – the anxiety and general emotion has already hit a crescendo!

But what if there was another way – a way in which you reduced anxiety/anger and exited with a smile or at least satisfaction? After all the world of work can be small and maintaining a good relationship could help you in the future.

I recently read an article in Good Health which discussed the well publicised ‘conscious uncoupling’ of Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow and  thought … what if the same principles were applied to ‘divorcing the boss’ – could you exit your job in a more civilized,  possibly even in a mutually beneficial manner?

So what is ‘conscious uncoupling’? It is a 5 step process of ending a union in an honourable, gracious and respectful way, which ensures the minimal damage to all involved.

Sound crazy? See how the basic principles could be ‘adopted’ in a workplace

Step one of conscious uncoupling – find emotional freedom

The workplace equivalent could be to take the negative emotion and transform in to constructive drivers of positive change.  For example, you may have worked for a manager who had a leadership style that didn’t bring out the best in you – take as a learning to what style will help you achieve greater success.

Step two reclaim your power and your life

In work terms take responsibility for your part, don’t use it against yourself –it will free you from ‘repeating’ the situation.  For example, you may not have been performing for a while, due to your own level of dissatisfaction, identify it and know in the future it won’t get to that point again …reclaim the power!

Step three break the pattern (and heal)

Similar to step two in acknowledging and moving on

Step four become an alchemist

In real terms see yourself as generating a positive future for you and everyone impacted by the ‘break up’.  You made a decision with good reason and acted upon it – you took a positive step forward.

Step five create your ‘happily –even –after life’

Not all ‘break ups’ (read resignations or redundancies) are simple or emotion free. In the world of conscious uncoupling the advice at step 5 would be to set up structures, reinvent yourself (where necessary) that will allow you to thrive after the transition.   In career change/exit strategy terms I believe it is important to have an ‘out of the workplace’ support system to act as a sounding board.

As with many relationship scenarios isn’t there often that  possibility that after you have ‘talked it out’ it may turn out you only really wanted a ‘trial separation’ or ‘couples counselling’ to rebalance the relationship and not actually wanting to leave the company or your manager?

Step 6 … keep an open mind to opportunity!

If it’s your time for change and would like a confidential ‘sounding board’, I offer support and guidance across; exit/redundancy support, career exploration through to practical application of job search strategy, professional resume review/rewrite and interview technique.

Please feel free to contact me at or call me on 0415097345.

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